6 Week Follow-up

We had Jayme's 6 week follow-up appointment yesterday. 6 weeks has passed since surgery, yay! All went well. He had another EKG before we met with Dr. Petracek and he said that everything looks good. He is still going to keep him on the Coumadin (blood thinner) for 3 more weeks and in 3 weeks he will wear another 48 hour heart monitor at home followed by another appointment with Dr. Petracek. If all looks good then, then he will take him off the Coumadin. He plans to keep him on the Sotalol for 3 more months to make sure his heart remains in rhythm. He hasn't lowered the dosage yet, but I'm hoping he will in 3 weeks. This also means that I am looking for a liver supporting supplement since the Sotalol can really take a toll on your liver. It's potent stuff but of course, "Jayme's young, seems to be excreting it just fine. He'll be o.k." I'm not going to take that risk, thank you. 

Jayme feels great and it's only going to get better. At this point, he feels slightly better than he did just before the surgery. He is noticing more energy and less shortness of breath in his daily life. He has also begun his cardiac rehab 3 times a week which he will do for 5 weeks. This has been so great for him, and they are really pushing him. 

He did volunteer a work day at church for an event they were having and at the end of an 8 hour day he realized he is still not quite ready to return to work, it wiped him out. But I think for sure especially with the rehab, he will be perfectly ready to return as planned, June 1st. 

As many qualms that I have with the medical industry and medication, I will say that it is astounding what another human can do. To operate on the heart, are you kidding me!? To stop someone's heart to work on it, and then in all essence bring them back to life! Crazy. And I am thankful.

EKG Follow-Up

Jayme had an EKG on Wednesday and we received the results yesterday. Everything is perfect. His blood pressure and heart rate have been perfect this week and we seem to be on the up-swing on the way to full recovery. 

He begins cardiac rehab next week which he is really looking forward to. The limitations on his physical exertions have been frustrating to him so he's ready to be able to jog, lift weights etc. while being monitored so he doesn't overdo it. 

The follow-up appointment with Dr. Petracek is April 24th so only 2 weeks away. We're still praying that at that point they will allow him off all of his medication. 

SO good to be home...again

We're all home again, yay! They discharged Jayme at 11:30 this morning. All is well and his heart continues to beat in good rhythm. We all took the best nap any of us has had in a long while this afternoon and tonight we just stayed home, and watched American Idol. These pictures are of Jayme and Evangeline watching AI. Poor Jayme, you can see all the irritation on his skin from the EKG monitor leads. 

It is so good to be home! Now I will be ecstatic when we get to the point where we're not messing with any medications anymore. 

Thank you all for your prayers that helped to sustain us each minute of every day. I have to say that I truly believe we went into the hospital this time around as different people than we are now. In 4 days many lessons can be learned, much faith can be tested, multiple questions can be answered, and a whole lot of refinement can happen. 

I'm going to get Jayme to write a bit soon from his perspective since you guys only hear from me :) It's very difficult to be the person walking their spouse through it but it's a different thing to be the one going through it. Jayme's faith is unwavering and it has been tried like never before on this journey. I'd like him to share some of that. And if there was no other reason for the medication to not work and to have to wait it out for 3 days and endure the thoughts and trials within that time, than to be able to walk alongside another friend who faces a possibly scary diagnosis with firsthand experience with the fear and the tumultuous thoughts than we are so willing to endure to hold up our friends with empathetic, powerful prayers! 

p.s. Please pray for our incredible friend who is in that period of waiting to hear the news of his diagnosis. Nothing in me doubts that he is healed and perfected by the blood of Jesus but please agree with me and pray for peace over his mind and heart as he waits. 

We're Back In Rhythm!!!

They just called me from downstairs to let me know that everything went well and his heart is back in rhythm!!!!! They had to perform another TEE first to make sure that there was no clotting and all went well! He is still down there and will be back up in about 20 minutes but all is well! Thank you for your prayers. More updates soon.

Mid-Version

They took Jayme back at 1:15 to do a TEE and then the cardioversion. Jesus let it work! I have been pleasantly distraced from thinking too much about by our dear friend Joe who was visiting with us. And now our friend Jen is here. Thank you Lord.

Shock to the Heart

We're just sitting. waiting. The medication has not done the trick so at some point today they will take him to have the cardioversion. Pray that it works and that we can go home tomorrow. Thanks.

Wrong Spelling

p.s. I have been spelling the medication wrong. It is Sotolol. 

On The Drive

Ok the ranting is over. On the drive over to the hospital I opened my mouth and began speaking to God. I confessed that my issue is, and almost always is, control. Why do I continue trying to keep control when I know that deep down I don't have it. And He told me that "Yes, but deep down you also don't believe that I do".  Ouch. True. It's moment to moment to moment for me. Sometimes I can let go and then I allow my mind to get busy again and fool myself into believing that I can do far more than I really can to change a situation. 

The Lord also reminded me of something the guy on my workout DVD says all the time. He always reminds you to be watching that you are not doing a co-contraction. That would be when, say you are doing bicep curls and you are gripping your weights so hard, the focus shifts from the muscle it is supposed to be working to the grip itself. "It's wasted energy people", he says. Funny, wasted energy. That's what the Lord told me I'm doing every time I strive to keep control of a situation. My focus shifts from Him and what He can do to "what about this"? "what if we made the wrong decision?" "Maybe something's not happening because I'm not doing something I should be".  It's double-minded, it's unstable, and it's not faith. This is the God who would take a decision that may have been wrong anyway, and if your heart is truly seeking Him, it won't matter. He'll make it work for your good. He is quite able, quite willing, and amazingly loving!! 

It definitely helps if you actually talk to Him. I have a habit of bottling up thoughts and I think them all day long but there is something about intentionally bringing them before Him, even if at the moment they're full of frustration and rants. He answers. "Even if we are unfaithful, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself". --2 Timothy 2:13

Frustration

  **This is us taking a nap in the hospital. That's all there is to do really**

Today Jayme is at the highest dose of Sotorol. I am intentionally not looking up information on this drug, though it's taking everything in me not to. I feel like there must be a better way, a more natural way to control his heart and I'm afraid of later regretting just sitting on our hands and doing whatever the doctors tell us to. He is not a person to them, not a husband, a son, or a father. He is a name on a lot of pieces of paper. What is it to them if the "best" thing for him is to be on medication for the rest of his life? It's not their life. Ok I am ending the ranting now. But obviously it was all in me, so I might as well get it out. There, I'm done. 

This is not my strongest moment as you can see. I would say that "frustrated" best describes me right now. I suppose the frustration is just added to by other things going on in life that I can't elaborate on that begin to pile up and before you know it, you're having a morning like I'm having today :) 

It's a focus issue really. I have to choose to keep my eyes forward. Not to things in the past, even just as recent as yesterday, and not to things closing in on either side of me. Only forward, only on my Father. He's the only one with the right answers anyway. He's the only one with the real control even when we like to pretend we have it. 

Jayme will be in the hospital until Wednesday at least. He will be on this dose of Sotorol until tomorrow morning and if it has not worked, then they will schedule a cardiovert (?) which is the shock. If it does work, then it will still be 24 hours after his heart goes back into rhythm before he is released. The same goes if the cardiorevert works. They think and hope that this dose should move his heart into rhythm. Amen and Amen.

p.s. sorry I'm grumpy

Prayer Needed

They doubled Jayme's dose of Sotorol today because they haven't seen any change in his heart rhythm. If they still haven't seen change by tomorrow they want to do shock therapy. I really don't want that!! Would you please agree with u sin prayer for perfect heart rhythm and function?

Day 1 of 2nd Hospital Visit

All is well. I just got home from spending time with Jayme at the hospital again. At least we got a night out together - Hahaha, now come on, that deserves credit for some positive thinking. ;)

Our friend Brian drove Jayme to the hospital this afternoon and stayed with him for a while as he got settled. He called me to let me know how things were going and was laughing as he told me how Jayme was playfully arguing (but serious) with the supervisor and a med student in opposition to the student being the one to put his IV in. The supervisor continued to call him a wuss, the med student tried their best to convince him of his/her ability and Jayme proceeded to present his case of how his left arm still aches from his IV 3 weeks ago. I can just picture it all. 

I didn't make it down there until about 8:30 this evening after my sister got here to watch Evangeline. Like I said, at least we got some time together out of the house. He has a great staff tonight and will be well taken care of. 

He will have to be there until tomorrow night at least, possibly until Monday. His heart is in Afibrilation flutter. So it's a flutter, not a quiver. Take notes. They said it takes 5 doses of this new medication before it really gets into his system, hence the longer than we'd like hospital stay. And they continue to assure us that this is a very common side-effect for post cardiac surgery patients. 

Oh, and included in this post is a picture of the "Respiratory Therapy". Jayme asked for another one...just because he can. (and because insurance is paying for it;) Maybe we'll Ebay it for $4,000.00 Any buyers?

Video from Hospital...again

Back To The Hospital

No, I'm not kidding. We do have to go back to the hospital. Jayme's blood pressure machine has been reading an irregular heartbeat for the last few days and they finally called us back yesterday late afternoon. The nurse said that it is somewhat routine for post-surgery patients to develop this irregular heartbeat and that he would just need to come back in for another EKG and more than likely will have to stay the night for observation as they adjust his medications. 

She said it isn't urgent as in we needed to leave that minute but she doesn't want us to go another day with his heart in Atrial fibrillation if it's already been there for a couple days previous. 

Please think of Jayme today and hold him in your prayers as this tedious hospital visit just adds to the frustration of feeling like a full recovery is prolonged. Also please continue to pray for his heart to be functioning in perfect condition with no damage. I admit it's a little scary to be messing around and finding things that "work" and to be dependent on medications for the stability of his heart. 

Once again we can rest knowing that this season has purpose even in the moments when we feel like bumps on a log just sitting around ready for the rest of life to begin. This is life and it is full of purpose if we're willing to dig a little deeper to discover it. 

As always, I'll keep you posted! :) 

The Bill...*dun dun dun*

In the mail today we got the big bill from Vanderbilt. Can I just say it is laughable. Not to undermine what these men and women do daily to save lives but some of it is just "come on, really!?" 

You wanna see the breakdown? Here goes:

Coronary Intensive Care 1 Day $ 3,450.00

Coronary Step Down 3 Days $ 4,875.00

Procedure Room $28,712.00

Anesthesia, Materials & Serv. $ 3,749.00

Radiology $ 1,057.00

Pharmacy $11,271.51

Laboratory $ 4,871.00

Central Supplies $10,752.00

IV Solutions $ 2,045.86

EKG/EEG $    424.00

Respiratory Therapy $ 3,908.00

Pulmonary Function $     465.00

Total Charges $75,580.37

All I have to say is that if "Respiratory Therapy" is the small plastic breathing exercise thing that they gave him that looks like it could have been manufactured for the Dollar Store I will die. 

All this does not include the Heart Catheter procedure from Williamson Medical either. We haven't received that bill yet.

However, I will also say that this is the first time I have been thankful for our Insurance. As I begrudgingly pay what I think is an extreme amount of money each month to rarely ever reap the benefits from it, I am finally grateful. Although even with Insurance our part is unfortunately more money than we can pay at the moment so if you would please continue to pray for financial breakthrough in this season for us, that'd be much appreciated!! 

Oh yeah, and Jayme is feeling a lot better even just this afternoon. He slept better last night but still not great. He hasn't taken a Percocet at all today but took some more Ibuprfoen this evening and is feeling so much better. It must have been inflammation. We're looking forward to hopefully a great night's sleep tonight! 

Restless Night

Whew, what a night. This healing process is so unpredictable. Jayme has been doing so well and taking only 1 Percocet for the pain each day and was having just a normal, good day yesterday until he got in bed last night. Almost as soon as he laid down he was in instant pain right around the incision area. He took another Percocet about 30 minutes into it and it wasn't even touching the pain. He tried to get comfortable and I drifted in and out of sleep for the next 4 hours until finally sometime around 3 or 3:30 a.m. we called the hospital. 

We spoke with the doctor on-call and he told him to take another Percocet and some Ibuprofen because it sounded like pain caused by inflammation. He also said that heat may help it. So Jayme took that, we heated up some rice 'socks' that Laurel made for me for my labor with Evangeline and he finally found a position in the bed that helped put some pressure on the area that hurt and got a little bit of sleep. Thankfully Evangeline slept until 9:30 this morning, yay! :) 

Needless to say it was not the most rested night either of us has ever had but at least he got some sleep and is doing a bit better this morning. It's always better when he's up and moving. We spoke with Dr. Petracek's nurse this morning and she said that while it stinks right now he will probably feel 100% better this time next week. And she confirmed that it sounded skeletal, like it is just his rib cage moving back into alignment. 

This pain just kind of snuck up on us unexpected since things have been going so well but we continue to be thankful for what is overall an exceptionally quick and easy recovery. 

A New Norm

Jayme's parents went home Saturday afternoon. It was so nice having them here with us and now we're just getting used to a new normal in our daily life. 

Things have been going well, and Jayme's INR levels continue to stay in a good place but I know we both can't wait for him to fully feel like himself again. No more pain, odd sensations and trying to figure out what's causing them...yes, that will be nice. 

I also can't wait to see what comes of this whole process, this whole year of our lives. We believe that our steps are ordered by God and that all things happen with purpose. I'm nothing but excited and ready to see what else life holds for us and why we have to walk through what we're walking through to get to the rest. 

Looking Back

I'm so glad we're at the point where we can already look back and laugh. We're sitting here this evening looking at the papers where Jayme was trying to communicate by writing while he still had the breathing tubes in right after coming off anesthesia. His sister Michele saved them knowing that eventually we would laugh at them. Oh my goodness I'm so glad we can laugh at that horrific night. 

Things continue to go well. Nights seem to be the hardest part of the day, bringing the most pain and discomfort. The act of laying down feels as if it puts a lot of pressure on his chest so finding a comfortable position is tricky. For some reason Jayme has a lot of pain in his left arm that comes and goes. I can't fathom why aside from the bruising left from the IVs but he says it's pretty significant pain. The incision is starting to heal and look even better. 

We have to begin going to have his INR levels checked twice a week which he's not thrilled about but hopefully after our follow-up appointment with Dr. Petracek Jayme won't need to be on the Coumadin anymore. His blood pressure is great but his heart rate is still higher than we'd like. 

We are going to attempt to make it out to church tomorrow. If you know Jayme, you know he does not like being cooped up for too long so maybe we'll just make "mini-outings" here and there. 

Whata Year

All goes well here in the Braun household. We are so thankful for those of you who have cared for us in such a variety of ways. Prayers are felt, encouragement is received, and meals are enjoyed! 

I was reflecting today on this past year and wondering if it was a particularly difficult year or if this is just what life is like as you grow older. For those of you who don't know, it was April when Jayme was diagnosed with mitral regurgitation, and May when Evangeline was born. In September Jayme's father passed away, and in October my brother had brain surgery. November was Jayme's dad's memorial service and December was spent contemplating whether to move forward with Jayme's surgery or not. In the midst of all that were many more smaller instances of challenges and trials that I'll leave out for now. For the last 6 months to a year it seems that it has always been something. 

I say all that, not to complain but to reflect on just how faithful God is through it all. And even if Evangeline were the only good thing to have come out of all of that (though there are many more), she would be enough. She is true joy. God is truly a sustainer. He has kept us not only alive through it all but happy and peaceful. There are things we experienced this year that I hope we never have to experience again, and things that I don't have answers to or the rhyme or reason, but I hope to understand one day. There are things that have happened that have pushed us to grow and I hope that at the end of it we are stronger, bolder, and wiser individuals. I pray that we allow God to mold us into the people He has called us to be so that we can fulfill everything He has called us to do. This is our journey and all of these events are part of it. Pray for us that we would embrace the inner work that God is doing and yield to the changing of our hearts. I'm afraid I'm not doing such a good job of it these days. 

Scary Night

Last night was a little scary. Jayme started feeling slightly feverish later in the evening and by the time we got in bed he was very warm and his heart rate was really high. Of course we didn't have an accurate thermometer in the house except for the one I use on Evangeline and we weren't going to use that one ;) So I left the house in my pajamas and a sweatshirt and headed to Walgreens at 11 p.m. to buy a thermometer. (Can I just say that I think I'd be o.k. to never see the inside of a Walgreens again after this week). 

He fluctuated between a fever of 100 and 101. In the paperwork we received at the hospital they want you to call if you get a fever of 101.5 or higher because of the threat of Endocarditis, which is a life-threatening infection in the heart. Of course no one was there when I called so it was the choice of spending the night in the E.R. or at home. 

I sent out a text message to some of our faithful prayer warriors and we stayed home and prayed. I continued to pray over him as he tried to rest and by 12:30 a.m. the fever was gone! His heart rate went down but not a whole lot, and of course I fought the thoughts of "What if this whole thing doesn't even take? What if it doesn't work and the valve breaks again?" But what can I do about it? I chose to fight the thoughts and hand it to God and trust Him with it regardless of outcome. And for the most part we both slept peacefully. 

Jayme's still resting this morning but I will keep you posted as to how he is doing.

Home and Settled

I can hardly believe Jayme's progress. Today feels almost as if the surgery never happened. Jayme's pacing around the house on the phone talking business talk that I don't understand and I can't help but wonder if the person on the other end even knows that he went underwent heart surgery just 5 days days ago. hahaha.

The Lord is our strength. Quite literally. It is God who is strengthening, rejuvenating, and refreshing us. 

I have to say it is really fun to listen to his heartbeat now! I used to be able to lay my head anywhere on his torso: over his heart, on his stomach, on his back and the beat was just as loud and as hard each place. I could even feel it strongly even if he just layed his stomach by my leg, this was one crazy loud, strong heartbeat. Well now I can only hear it in the place that I should!!! It's just amazing to me! 

We are also so very blessed. Our friends and family who have gotten us through this week and the weeks to come are just the most precious gifts. Helping with Evangeline, cleaning, calling, praying, running errands, visiting Jayme, letting us borrow some most useful objects, donating, bringing meals, surprise payments for all the prescriptions...you all are wonderful! 

We're still taking each day as it comes and I am still trying to balance my day to make sure that I take time to rest in the Lord. Otherwise my mind gets busy very quickly and I begin to worry about future things, mainly finances. But I can't wait to be able to share with you how our faithful Provider provides as amazingly as He is healing. 

Pictures from the Hospital

The incision and chest tube incisions
Adorable balloon from the Galls.

Evangeline loved the balloon.
Jayme reading one of his cards.
Snuggle time.
The morning we left not feeling so hot after 

suture in chest tube incision was removed. Ouch.
Day 4 Scar.

Going Home Tomorrow

Sitting in the hospital room. 8:45 p.m. Just walked with Jayme a few "laps" and settling in for our last night. Phone just rang. It's one of our favorite nurses who we didn't get to say goodbye to in the wee hours of this morning when her shift ended and we were already asleep. Sweet of her to call.

Jayme is doing so amazingly well! Dr. Petracek actually asked him if he wanted to go home right then after he checked on him today but Jayme said he didn't feel quite ready so Dr. Petracek said, "Alright, tomorrow morning then." So tomorrow morning it is. We're glad. I think I probably could have stood 1 more day of driving back and forth and finding care for Evangeline but not too much more than that. Please pray as we transition home. 

It is hard to believe that tomorrow only marks day 4 post-surgery. You grow so accustom to a place so quickly and bond so deeply with those who share your present burdens, thoughts, emotions, and circumstances as well as those who help you through them. We are so glad to be going home but in a way it will be sad to say goodbye to Bill, Angie, Mr. Meyers, Mari, Garry, and Jakea. 

Jayme really has come so far that I think we'll have to remind ourselves to take it easy. He's not bothered at all to sleep laying flat or on his side and he's walking so briskly I sometimes forget that he should be pacing himself. It's still very much recovery mode. We're beginning many supplements to strengthen his heart, immune system, and overall health. We mean to never have this or any other surgery again, so healthy lifestyle plus the hand of God and nothing can touch us. 

I will let you know the transition home goes. Keep praying :) Much love to you all.

Visitors Welcome

Today is a great day for visitors if you want to come see him. They expect to discharge him tomorrow. He is resting this morning and anyone would be welcome to come from 11-7 today. He'd love to see you! He is room 6211 at Vanderbilt Hospital. Take Medical Center Dr. from 21st and park in the East Garage (free on weekends) and walk over to the Hospital Main Lobby. 6th floor. Room 6211. He requests no flowers or balloons :) 

Anyone selling a treadmill?

Looks like we will have to buy a treadmill for the house. They don't want him to do stairs or hills and we live in a very hilly neighborhood. Didn' know if anyone had a good one they were looking to sell. Let us know if you do! :) 

Awesome Progress

Jayme's having a great afternoon. He finally got to shower which he is really happy about. He's been up and walking around, and did 11 minutes on the treadmill. He ate a lot of his lunch and his pain seems to be controlled really well. Praise God! 

I took some pictures today and I'll post them when I go home. Not sure if you want to see the one of the chest incision but I have one those too. He seems happy and encouraged and very much himself. 

We're watching t.v. for the first time and hoping for another great night of sleep tonight. I'm staying with him. Thank you so much the prayers! 

Video From the Morning of Day 3

Here's a video that Jayme recorded from his bed this morning. I still haven't watched it yet because it's taking too long to load but just keep in mind that he is feeling so much better this evening than even in this video this morning.

Day 3

It was 11 a.m. before I got here today. Busy morning with Evangeline and an errand. Kym said he did really well through the night. He actually really slept for the first time. Of course you still have people coming in every 4 hours so it gets broken up but at least he rested. 

He was having a really good morning...and then they removed the chest tubes. Which is a good thing, but it caused him a lot of pain. 

He has been really great the last hour. He's gone to the bathroom, ate quite a bit, and was just up talking to me too. I think the pain is being managed really well. Of course it still hurts and he even said to me this morning, "Maybe I just have wrong expectations for how much pain I should be feeling." I told him that I don't know what he's feeling but this seems to be pretty good. Pain is not supposed to be absent, he's just supposed to be able to tolerate it and still function well. I think we're in a good place. 

I think he will have more scarring than we had thought of. He'll probably have a scar on his neck where the "swan tube" (?) was and I'm assuming the chest tubes will leave a scar, plus the incision sites. We'll see I guess. 

Night-night Day 2

Jayme is continuing to do well. They re-dressed his chest incision tonight and removed the bandage from the incision in his groin. The incisions look pretty good I suppose, of course I don't really know what they should like. They are fresh and still irritated and raised but of course they will continue to heal with every day. 

Hoping to get the drainage tubes out of his chest tomorrow. So far he hasn't shown an excess or abnormal amount of drainage so it looks hopeful. He's back in bed and hopefully getting some rest. They were going to try a stronger dose of medication tonight to kind of break through that pain wall as well as give him something to help him sleep. Kym is staying with him tonight but he was doing very well when I left. 

Kym and Michele leave in the morning :(  Aside from that everything is going well. I do feel a little bit torn because Evangeline is having a rough week with teething, testing her boundaries, and the inconsistency of not knowing who she will see when she wakes every day. When I'm with her I feel like I should be with Jayme and when I'm with him oftentimes I feel like I should be there for her. I suppose that part of it all will be over once we get discharged and life goes back to a little more normal than it is right now. 

I am going to bed now, it will be wonderful to sleep. I'll catch you up tomorrow!

Day 2

We're doing well. He was moved out of ICU and into his own room for the "step-down" program. There are no time frames at this point as to when he'll move to his final recovery room. It's all dependent on progress. For now our room number is 6211 in the main hospital. Eventually he will move to another tower. All of the really annoying tubes that were in is neck and hanging on his arm are gone. He just has the chest tubes now, and of the course the I.V.s 

He has walked around the halls and they were impressed at how well he held himself upright. He's in a chair again now and resting. He has been to the bathroom and even ate a little dinner. It's progress little by little. I will say he is frustrated that everything is much more conducive to short people. His legs hang off of most things so we have make-shift ottomans and such :) 

I went home at about 8:00 this morning and his sister Michele stayed with him. Mom and John came shortly after that and Kym tried to catch some rest in case she is the one who will stay with him tonight. I got a 3 1/2 hour nap, a shower, and some time with Evangeline so I'm doing much better. 

Jayme had his first visitors this afternoon and that helped his spirits. It's hard to remember life outside your hospital room at this point so it's nice when life is brought to you. So thank you Adam, Bryan, Daniel, Jenny, and Mike, Danny, Jill, Jeremy, and Darci... And BIG thanks to Will (a friend of mine from high school who works anesthesia  here at Vandy) for coming by and checking in and helping Jayme put some perspective on the meds and his responses to them. 

Will update soon. 

In The Chair

We both got to sleep for about an hour and at 4:30 a.m. they began to sit him up in bed and move him to the chair to have him upright for a while. It was a very smooth and easy transition! He's doing well with a morphine drip right now and is much more content and very much himself again. Whew. Still much dicomfort, and very ready to have all the tubes hanging by his face gone but he has come a very long way in a few short hours.

Doing Better

3:11 a.m. I've prayed over him and stroked his hair and that helped him, but the thing he needed most tonight was Kirk. The male nurse who came in and gave Jayme a better and clearer expectation for what he should be feeling. I knew that much of the pain and strange sensations were 100% normal but that means nothing coming from me. And it shouldn't, but it took having Kirk come in and saying "Hey I know exactly how you feel. I've had heart surgery. You should feel like you've been hit by a bus" and then proceeded to listen to the feelings Jayme was describing and confirm that they were all normal. They also adjusted his bed and had him propped up more. Immediately he was eased.

From the sensation of sitting up more and from the ice chips putting a fluid on his stomach he did throw up. He was nervous that that might pull a stitch or do damage but again they assured him that it was a perfect response.

He is actually resting now and they're planning on getting him up to sit in the chair in about an hour. Not sure he's gonna like that! All of his breathing is perfect and things seem pretty good right now. I may attempt to sleep for a minute.

Middle of the Night Update

Please please tell me that this is the worst of it. I'm back at the hospital. 2:02 a.m. because Jayme was very grumpy that I wasn't there when he woke up. It's O.K. I couldn't sleep anyway.

I am fighting awful nerves right now. It is so hard to not be able to help him through such intense frustration and pain. Let's just say that he is not a happy camper and leave it there :) But he is very alert.

At this moment I have to say, even though I know it is fleeting and primarily my emotions speaking, I wish we hadn't done it. I wish I were just home snuggling him in bed like normal and we were both just happy and fine.

My prayers are shallow and suppressed under these fierce emotions. I do sit and ponder though the intensity of the nerves Jesus faced and fought in order to make him sweat blood before going to the cross. Intense to say the least. This glimpse of anxiety pales in comparison. Honestly it's not O.K to be weak in these moments, I simply have to be strong so please pray for my strength. And pray that this is moment is as bad as it gets.

Last Prayer Request

I just saw Jayme and he is doing fine. He was just coming off of his anesthetic so he was totally out but since they're worried about the possibility of suppressing his breathing they don't plan on giving him anything stronger than Percocet for his pain. He'll probably still feel a lot of pain so if you would please join your prayers with mine for miraculous healing and a miraculous absence of pain that would be great!! I personally do not want to see him in pain and if you know him well, you know he doesn't too well with pain himself :) So please believe with me for minimal to no pain!! 

Well we only have 45 minutes until visitor's hours are over. His sister Michele is staying the night with him so I can get sleep since I just cannot function without. Plus I really want to see Evangeline. I will write again in the morning. Please keep praying.

Surgery is Finished!!!

We're done and 45 minutes early! Dr. Petracek came down at about 6:20 p.m. and gave me the low-down. He looked happy. I really really like him I decided :) Valve is fully repaired with NO leaking! I'll go into more details later. I'll go see him in about an hour and I'll let you know more. But it's all good news here!! :)

I know that in the past I have been one of those people who have thought "Oh they don't need another phone message, text, email. I'm sure they've been bombarded all day, I'll just leave them alone" But truly it has meant so much to receive everyone's kind words, encouragement, prayers, etc. Every single one!!!! We love you all so so much and we're so incredibly thankful for you! Please continue to pray for recovery in the days ahead.

Pre-surgery video blog of Jayme

LOL ok this is the best we could do with video editing. It's pretty funny really. You're seeing the entire video but only the first 20 seconds of the audio. This is why we need Jayme!! My favorite part is Kym and Michele waving in the background, lol!

Incision Made

Incision was made at 3:12 p.m. Doing well and will update in a couple hours. 

We're In-Surgery

(This is the heart shirt I'm sporting today in honor of it all.)

Running about 15/20 minutes early. They paged us back at 1:00 and put me in the holding room while they prepped Jayme for surgery. From that point on I'm not exactly sure how much time passed before they called me back to see him but eventually they did. I didn't have much time with him at that point. ...and that's where the crying began. I'm pretty good about keeping it together but for those first few moments I let it go, and so did he. Although they did say that some of his overt emotions were probably due to the anesthesia they had just given him. I asked him if he was nervous and he still said he wasn't. He just missed me and Evangeline. 

As I sat in the holding room mumbling prayers, the Lord reminded me that I'd be foolish to think that my life or Jayme's life is in our hands or our control any other day more than it is today. Each day is precious and each day is held in the hands of our loving Father. There is no room for worry. 

I found it amusing that the others in the holding room seemed to deal with the anxious thoughts the same way I do. One woman was watching Gilligan's Island and the other was watching Ice Age. Yep, reverting to happy thoughts and childhood always calms a potentially anxious mind. I love it. I also love the camaraderie exemplified when people go through things together, even if you don't know each other otherwise. 

Well now I'm tired. That kind of tired after 5 hrs sleep and then some tears, almost wiped. I'm so thankful for internet and family and friends. Wonderful distractions :) 

They said the first update should come about 45 minutes into it once they make the incision. So we're just waiting for that. 

I have no cell phone service for anyone who has tried to call but I do have internet!! And I'll keep you posted!

Here We Sit

Ok I am sitting in the main lobby of Vanderbilt...waiting. We have been here since about 8:30 a.m. with hopes and assumptions that surgery would run early if anything. But we were just informed that Dr. Petracek had an emergency patient so Jayme's surgery has been pushed back to 2:30. Oh my gosh. I'm sure there is purpose in this but I'll admit I'm fighting frustration. At this moment we are ready to just move on with it. 

I feel so bad for those who are here with us waiting even longer than they expected to, hahaha. We have wonderful friends and family. Family left to get some lunch. Jayme still can't have anything to eat. Pray this day passes quickly! 

On a good note, another couple who we met in our pre-op class is here this morning as well. The wife has had heart problems since birth. I've been chatting with him this morning as he's been very nervous but all went perfectly well with her! Praise God! Pray for them if you think of it. Truly I don't know their names but God knows who I'm talking about :) 

Jimmy Wayne Tribute to Jayme

Jimmy Wayne, the artist Jayme currently works for posted this video on YouTube. It's so great to have such incredible people in our lives. Jimmy is one of the most genuine, honest people you will meet with an incredible voice to boot. Check him out! 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixfKho7pRko&feature=channel_page

p.s. The best part of the video is the "Jayme Braun Bus Dance" at the end. Look for it.

What A Day

Overall it was not a bad day. Tiring, but not bad. Just a monotony of appointments really. Questions, bloodwork, pulse, x-ray, Echo, etc. The most informative part was the video and tutorial on what to expect prior to, during, and post surgery. It sure can get the nerves going though :) We just want it over with. 

We did have a question for Dr. Petracek before we signed the consent for surgery forms. I really wanted to hear more about the different valve options if a replacement was necessary. They're both wretched in my opinion. If you choose the prosthetic valve, it only has a life span of approximately 10-15 years before needing to be replaced again. So in Jayme's lifetime he would undergo maybe 4 more replacement surgeries. But with the mechanical valve it's about 30 years before needing another replacement which still means that Jayme would more than likely need at least 1 more replacement surgery in his lifetime plus you are required to be on Coumadin or some kind of blood thinners for the rest of your life. Yuck!!! If you know me, I'm not so much pro-meds and it's hard for me not get passionate about staying away from them. Especially the kind you're on for life starting at 33 years old. It can't be good for you!

This is one of the reasons we are choosing not to wait on the surgery any longer so that our chances for repair do not grow any slimmer. Dr. Petracek came in and spoke with us briefly. He did ease my mind to hear from his perspective how passionate he is in his desire to repair the valve over replacing it. He said he is 80/90% confident that it could be repaired and that he would rather repair it even if he had to leave a slight leak than replace it. That helped me! I know he will do all that he can to repair it...and all that he can is a lot. We continue to hear nothing but confidence and praise for his surgical prowess. I think I like him. He's one of those people that you just cannot imagine as a child. (or maybe that's just how my mind works) He's so serious, so direct. I can't pin his personality, (amazing since I've spent a total of about 45 minutes speaking with him) but I do trust his ability.  

We still pray for complete and total healing but if surgery is necessary, we really ask you to pray that a replacement valve would not be needed and that the repair would be perfect. Dr. Petracek did say that 20% will need to be operated on again at some point and 10% of that 20 will be within the first week after surgery. I think that's what he said, the stats could be higher. I was a nerd trying to take notes but I think I failed here. We also pray for minimal amounts of pain and amazingly quick recovery!! 

Pray for me also as I know that I will need strength to let my husband go into the hands of these surgeons, to witness him in pain and a state of helplessness. I cry just thinking about it. Pray that I have only encouraging words to give him prior to the surgery as it will just be he and I back there together. His unwavering faith and strength and determination is truly amazing to see. He isn't looking forward to it but he's not looking back either. He's so much better than me. 

Well, Jayme's family comes in tomorrow and we did our best to enjoy this last evening together before things get a little crazy. We went to one of our favorite dinner spots. The Red Pony. It's beaucoup bucks so it's a real treat when we go but Jayme's been saving his per diem so we had a nice treat! I included a picture for your viewing pleasure :) 

Pre-op Tomorrow

Pray for us as we will spend most of the day tomorrow at Vanderbilt for Jayme's pre-op appointment. It is surreal as we get so close to doing the thing we have talked about for almost a year now. 

I have to take this moment to say how thankful I am for Christ. He is the only source of peace as we literally put Jayme's life in someone else's hands. Someone we've spent probably 30 minutes speaking with. To recognize that God is the Author and Finisher of our life releases peace and purpose. We move forward in prayer and completely trust our lives to the One who created them. How does anyone live without Jesus? 

I still have questions, I still wonder if I could be doing something more or something different, if I could make God happier by doing better...but then I'm reminded of His love for us. He is not waving His finger at me in displeasure waiting until I "get it right". He is holding my heart, changing it, and drawing me closer to lay my head on His breast as He wraps us up in His peace and purpose. How extremely lovely! 

Keeping Busy

I have to say at this point each day just gets busier as we get closer to the surgery. This morning I did lay in bed trying not to wake up because I didn't know where to begin today, there was so much to do. 

But everyday God shows His grace and strength. It's awesome. Jayme is feeling a lot better today. He still has some soreness and still had restrictions in order to recover from the heart cath so he couldn't lift Evangeline or over-exert himself in any way. That means it was up to me to finish cleaning the carpets. ;) We're trying to get a lot of "spring cleaning" done before the surgery so we don't have to worry about any of it later. 

I'm just amazed at how fast this week is going already. Each day is packed full of things to do and before we know it, it will be Thursday. I admit, the closer it gets the more and more apprehensive I am getting. I'm not worried and I'm excited for it to be behind us, but my Type-A personality just begins to come out and I want to know exactly what it will be like and exactly what to expect so I can prepare. I am not naive, both Jayme and I know that there will be difficult and maybe unpleasant moments but we have the highest expectations for God's peace and healing abilities. I'm so thankful to be able to rest in Him. 

1 Appointment Down, 1 To Go

Well we got ourselves to the hospital this morning at 5:50 a.m. Yep, we were even a little early. Of course they didn't even take us back until 6:45 :) We went through the standard prep work and at about 7:45 a.m. they wheeled Jayme back for the catheterization. 

Dr. Richardson came to find me at about 8:45 to let me know that everything went very well. No blockages or any other cause for concern was detected. The nurse walked me back to see him about 15 minutes later and informed me that Jayme kept them very entertained the whole time ;) They had Jayme on bed rest for the next 3 hours so they could make sure that the artery was closing and healing well. 

It was all I could do to not fall asleep in those 3 hours. We left the hospital at 1:15 p.m. Overall it was a smooth procedure and it always helps to have a great bunch of nurses and techs to work with, and we did! 

Jayme's resting now and does have a fair bit of aches and pains which we're hoping will subside by tomorrow. 

Now we are free of appointments until the pre-op appt. on Tuesday. And now I'm going to make a list of everything that needs ot be done by next Thursday. Wish me luck! 

Heart Cath. Appt Tomorrow

Tomorrow at 6:00 a.m is Jayme's appointment for his heart catheterization. Yes I said we have to be there at 6:00 a.m. Ugghh. I am actually a morning person, but mornings begin for me at maybe 7:00. 6 a.m. is still night in my book, and for Jayme, 6 a.m. is like the average person's midnight. Yes, we like to sleep in this house :) 

So this is the first of future procedures. The procedure itself will take approximately 1 hour and from there they determine how much rest he needs before we can head home. However, if they do discover any blockages they would possibly have to insert a stint or do an angioplasty. We are not anticipating either. Aside from all of this, Jayme is a healthy person and only 33 years old so we are really hoping for no blockages! Please pray that there aren't any, that he takes to the anesthesia well,  and that it is a quick and easy appointment. :) 

I'll let you know tomorrow how it goes. 

Psalm 40 Excerpts

"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. 

Many will see what He has done and be astounded. They will put their trust in the Lord. Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord, who have no confidence in the proud, or in those who worship idols. O Lord, my God, you have done many miracles for us. Your plans for us are too numerous to list. If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds, I would never come to the end of them. 

As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord thinking about me right now. You are my helper and my savior. Do not delay, O my God." - Psalm 40:1-5, 17

--I would not trade these trials for anything. I would not wish to be in any other place in life right now. The love we have been shown by God and by His beautiful, wonderful people is so fulfilling and so humbling. The prayers we have received and the prayers we have given in this time have renewed us, strengthened us, broken us, and changed us. His love is unfailing and He is so full of this love, it IS Him. 

There is no glory without trials and I think we are finally learning to embrace them and learning to allow the Lord to work in and through them instead of trying to figure out the whos, wheres, and most of all, the whys. We move forward in his love, knowing that we are loved and treasured, and out of that I've learned to trust. 

2 Week Countdown

Surgery is 2 weeks from yesterday, let the countdown begin.  I received the packet of information from Dr. Petracek's office today. Here is a brief schedule of the few days prior.

March 5th - Cardiac Catheterization 6:00 a.m. 

March 10th - Pre-op Testing at 8:20 a.m. and Teaching at 11:00 a.m. I assume the teaching is where they instruct us on what to anticipate for surgery and recovery and how to prepare for it. 

March 10th - 2 D Echo at 1:45 p.m. 

March 12th - Arrival at 8:00 a.m. Surgery at 12:30 p.m. - so for all of you who would like to be there at the hospital, disregard what I said about being there at 8:00, sleep in and lounge in your jammies awhile. Surgery actually begins at 12:30 p.m. 

As I'm thinking about the days to be spent in the hospital, I'm wondering how I can make it as easy or enjoyable as it can be for Jayme. If any of you have hospital/surgery experience and could tell me something you wish you had, something that made the time easier or more enjoyable I'd love to get some ideas. Even if you haven't been there yourself but you have an idea, let me know! So far I'm thinking of a giant snack basket...ixnay on the hospital food. 

Explanation of Surgery

Here is a link to Jayme's surgeon, Dr. Michael Petracek, explaining the procedure of minimally invasive valve repair surgery. This is the same procedure he will perform on Jayme. He has performed this surgery over 800 times and his mortality rate is 1%. 

www.concomitant.org/knowledgebase/questions/65/

Why This Blog Exists

Hello Friends and Family,

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and encouragement in this season. They are so appreciated! Since there will be some who read this post who have little or no background information, I am going to do a brief re-cap.

July 2004- At a routine Dr. appointment Jayme's heart murmur was discovered. Since it was such a severe murmur and had developed or at least progressed so suddenly, it concerned the doctor and he was sent to the E.R. for more testing.

E.R. referred him to a Vanderbilt cardiologist. The cardiologist diagnosed him with Mitral Valve Prolapse. Mitral valve prolapse is a common heart disorder. It occurs when the valve between your heart's left upper chamber (left atrium) and the left lower chamber (left ventricle) doesn't close properly. When the left ventricle contracts, the valve's leaflets bulge (prolapse) upward or back into the atrium . Mitral valve prolapse sometimes leads to blood leaking backward into the left atrium, a condition called mitral valve regurgitation. 

Mitral valve prolapse affects slightly more than 2 percent of adults in the United States.

In most people, mitral valve prolapse is harmless and doesn't require treatment or changes in lifestyle. In some people with mitral valve prolapse, however, the progression of the disease requires treatment. (Mayo Clinic)

Unfortunately, Jayme is of the minority whose lifestyle is affected by the disease. The doctor gave us cause for concern and cautioned us to keep an eye on its progress.

April 2008 - After an appointment with our family practitioner, Jayme was advised to once again follow up with his cardiologist and schedule an EKG (electrocardiogram). We were at this point, weeks from the arrival of our first child, our daughter, Evangeline. 

The EKG was read and the cardiologist was again concerned at the progression of the prolapse and referred us to Vanderbilt to have a TEE (transesophageal echocardiogram) performed.

September 2008 - Appointment for TEE. Diagnosis of Severe Mitral Regurgitation. When the mitral valve doesn't function properly, blood can't move through your heart or to the rest of your body as efficiently. The condition can leave you fatigued and short of breath. Left unchecked, severe mitral regurgitation can lead to heart failure or serious heart rhythm irregularities (arrhythmias). 

September 2008 - Appointment with thoracic surgeon, Dr. Michael Petracek at Vanderbilt Medical Center. Dr. Petracek called Jayme's murmur "impressive". Not such a good thing when you "impress" the doctors with the abnormality of your heartbeat :) Dr. Petracek advised not waiting more than a few more months before scheduling surgery. He said at that time that Jayme's side effects were minimal but that the heart was beginning to enlarge due to all of the extra work it was doing. He felt confident that it could be a valve repair instead of a replacement and scheduled Jayme for an MRI to confirm the theory. 

The MRI was performed and Dr. Petracek still feels confident in a repair. 

We have delayed surgery for this long for two reasons. The primary reason being that we ache to see a miracle of God. We believe that God is able to perform a miraculous healing on Jayme's heart. And though we have not seen it yet, we still believe that our prayers have been answered and that Jayme will be healed before the surgery but if not, then we trust that God's ways are higher than ours and we are O.K. with that! It will not be because God never heard us or because He was unable to heal Jayme, or because He failed us but simply because there are things that He knows in His sovereignty that we do not. And His ways and purposes so often surpass even our greatest understanding. We love and trust Him regardless of circumstance. 

The second reason we have prolonged the surgery is for lack of finances. We have insurance and that will cover the majority of the cost of the procedure, but what we have not been able to afford is for Jayme to be out of work for approximately 3 months. Since having our daughter I have stayed home with her so we are learning to live on one income and in the face of these times economically, we have struggled. Therefore the idea of having no income for months was simply not an option for us. 

After much prayer we have decided to move forward despite the financial opposition. After all is said and done, we will be left with approximately $30,000 of expenses to cover our part of the medical costs and to cover the loss of income we will face during Jayme's recovery period. 

Prayers are what we ask for from you above all but if you feel led to help us in any way financially that you can, there is a Donate button on the homepage of the blog. We love and appreciate you more than you know!