The Lord also reminded me of something the guy on my workout DVD says all the time. He always reminds you to be watching that you are not doing a co-contraction. That would be when, say you are doing bicep curls and you are gripping your weights so hard, the focus shifts from the muscle it is supposed to be working to the grip itself. "It's wasted energy people", he says. Funny, wasted energy. That's what the Lord told me I'm doing every time I strive to keep control of a situation. My focus shifts from Him and what He can do to "what about this"? "what if we made the wrong decision?" "Maybe something's not happening because I'm not doing something I should be". It's double-minded, it's unstable, and it's not faith. This is the God who would take a decision that may have been wrong anyway, and if your heart is truly seeking Him, it won't matter. He'll make it work for your good. He is quite able, quite willing, and amazingly loving!!
It definitely helps if you actually talk to Him. I have a habit of bottling up thoughts and I think them all day long but there is something about intentionally bringing them before Him, even if at the moment they're full of frustration and rants. He answers. "Even if we are unfaithful, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself". --2 Timothy 2:13
Your honesty and willingness to be transparent inspires me in my walk or crawl with the Lord. Your faith and maturity will get you through this difficult time. Thanks for keeping us up on what is going on with both of you.
ReplyDeleteMy love and prayers are with you,
Aunt Blanche
I felt the exact same way today...the previous post...so, when I logged onto your blog for an update on Jayme's condition, this post hit me right between the eyes!
ReplyDeleteI could go on and on and explain my situation...it is very pitiful, justifiable, bad, bad, bad...but the bottom line is: I don't need to. Obviously, I am not the only one on the planet in pain from really bad, horrible, no person should have to bear this kind of stuff, stuff going on!
THANKS for this post! I really really needed a "God Check!" Circumstances are yucky...for alot of us...but, God is in control...not me, not you! Thanks! I loved the co-contraction and wasted energy word picture! Perfect example!
Just know that there are other Christians, suffering, praying, ranting, raving, praising, thanking, and loving Jesus alongside you.
I sat in the Pediatric dentist office today with 3 of my 5 children. My 4 year old was getting her cavity filled and being an angel...not a role she has been quite comfortable in. I am still a little shocked at the words uttered from the dental assistant, "You're the best!" My 10 year old refused to do her homeschool work today, and was having a total, pre-teen meltdown in the form of an "attitude" that needed an Extreme Makeover! The 6 year old was watching a movie in the dental chair liberally pressing the buttons to make it go up and down over and over. I sat in the hallway on a bench fighting back tears and taking deep breaths, because...in the midst of all the pain and loss and suffering...cavities have to be filled and I'm the mom, and it's a privelage to be able to take them and to be their mom, whether I have to fight the tears through it or not!
It's in moments like that... it's a tension...you are so blessed by the ordinary, yet so taxed by the ordinary. I am not sure how to explain it, but I thank You Lord, even in the hard places, you give us silver linings! ( I am not even going to make a joke about silver fillings, although it would be quite funny! LOL!)