Please please tell me that this is the worst of it. I'm back at the hospital. 2:02 a.m. because Jayme was very grumpy that I wasn't there when he woke up. It's O.K. I couldn't sleep anyway.
I am fighting awful nerves right now. It is so hard to not be able to help him through such intense frustration and pain. Let's just say that he is not a happy camper and leave it there :) But he is very alert.
At this moment I have to say, even though I know it is fleeting and primarily my emotions speaking, I wish we hadn't done it. I wish I were just home snuggling him in bed like normal and we were both just happy and fine.
My prayers are shallow and suppressed under these fierce emotions. I do sit and ponder though the intensity of the nerves Jesus faced and fought in order to make him sweat blood before going to the cross. Intense to say the least. This glimpse of anxiety pales in comparison. Honestly it's not O.K to be weak in these moments, I simply have to be strong so please pray for my strength. And pray that this is moment is as bad as it gets.
The Bear
9 years ago
Genevieve, I know you don't know me, but I knew Jayme way back when... Just remember Jesus was "God as Man" at the moment you discussed. We are simply human and going to go through "human" moments. The thing is, you have both gone through a huge emotional, physical, mental and spiritual battle. That is why the prayers of the faithful are there. To help support when the warriors get weak. Even Moses had people lift up his arms. Have the moment, then fight on. Just remember the cranky means his is ALIVE and kicking...and gonna be just fine.
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