Incision Made

Incision was made at 3:12 p.m. Doing well and will update in a couple hours. 

We're In-Surgery

(This is the heart shirt I'm sporting today in honor of it all.)

Running about 15/20 minutes early. They paged us back at 1:00 and put me in the holding room while they prepped Jayme for surgery. From that point on I'm not exactly sure how much time passed before they called me back to see him but eventually they did. I didn't have much time with him at that point. ...and that's where the crying began. I'm pretty good about keeping it together but for those first few moments I let it go, and so did he. Although they did say that some of his overt emotions were probably due to the anesthesia they had just given him. I asked him if he was nervous and he still said he wasn't. He just missed me and Evangeline. 

As I sat in the holding room mumbling prayers, the Lord reminded me that I'd be foolish to think that my life or Jayme's life is in our hands or our control any other day more than it is today. Each day is precious and each day is held in the hands of our loving Father. There is no room for worry. 

I found it amusing that the others in the holding room seemed to deal with the anxious thoughts the same way I do. One woman was watching Gilligan's Island and the other was watching Ice Age. Yep, reverting to happy thoughts and childhood always calms a potentially anxious mind. I love it. I also love the camaraderie exemplified when people go through things together, even if you don't know each other otherwise. 

Well now I'm tired. That kind of tired after 5 hrs sleep and then some tears, almost wiped. I'm so thankful for internet and family and friends. Wonderful distractions :) 

They said the first update should come about 45 minutes into it once they make the incision. So we're just waiting for that. 

I have no cell phone service for anyone who has tried to call but I do have internet!! And I'll keep you posted!

Here We Sit

Ok I am sitting in the main lobby of Vanderbilt...waiting. We have been here since about 8:30 a.m. with hopes and assumptions that surgery would run early if anything. But we were just informed that Dr. Petracek had an emergency patient so Jayme's surgery has been pushed back to 2:30. Oh my gosh. I'm sure there is purpose in this but I'll admit I'm fighting frustration. At this moment we are ready to just move on with it. 

I feel so bad for those who are here with us waiting even longer than they expected to, hahaha. We have wonderful friends and family. Family left to get some lunch. Jayme still can't have anything to eat. Pray this day passes quickly! 

On a good note, another couple who we met in our pre-op class is here this morning as well. The wife has had heart problems since birth. I've been chatting with him this morning as he's been very nervous but all went perfectly well with her! Praise God! Pray for them if you think of it. Truly I don't know their names but God knows who I'm talking about :) 

Jimmy Wayne Tribute to Jayme

Jimmy Wayne, the artist Jayme currently works for posted this video on YouTube. It's so great to have such incredible people in our lives. Jimmy is one of the most genuine, honest people you will meet with an incredible voice to boot. Check him out! 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixfKho7pRko&feature=channel_page

p.s. The best part of the video is the "Jayme Braun Bus Dance" at the end. Look for it.

What A Day

Overall it was not a bad day. Tiring, but not bad. Just a monotony of appointments really. Questions, bloodwork, pulse, x-ray, Echo, etc. The most informative part was the video and tutorial on what to expect prior to, during, and post surgery. It sure can get the nerves going though :) We just want it over with. 

We did have a question for Dr. Petracek before we signed the consent for surgery forms. I really wanted to hear more about the different valve options if a replacement was necessary. They're both wretched in my opinion. If you choose the prosthetic valve, it only has a life span of approximately 10-15 years before needing to be replaced again. So in Jayme's lifetime he would undergo maybe 4 more replacement surgeries. But with the mechanical valve it's about 30 years before needing another replacement which still means that Jayme would more than likely need at least 1 more replacement surgery in his lifetime plus you are required to be on Coumadin or some kind of blood thinners for the rest of your life. Yuck!!! If you know me, I'm not so much pro-meds and it's hard for me not get passionate about staying away from them. Especially the kind you're on for life starting at 33 years old. It can't be good for you!

This is one of the reasons we are choosing not to wait on the surgery any longer so that our chances for repair do not grow any slimmer. Dr. Petracek came in and spoke with us briefly. He did ease my mind to hear from his perspective how passionate he is in his desire to repair the valve over replacing it. He said he is 80/90% confident that it could be repaired and that he would rather repair it even if he had to leave a slight leak than replace it. That helped me! I know he will do all that he can to repair it...and all that he can is a lot. We continue to hear nothing but confidence and praise for his surgical prowess. I think I like him. He's one of those people that you just cannot imagine as a child. (or maybe that's just how my mind works) He's so serious, so direct. I can't pin his personality, (amazing since I've spent a total of about 45 minutes speaking with him) but I do trust his ability.  

We still pray for complete and total healing but if surgery is necessary, we really ask you to pray that a replacement valve would not be needed and that the repair would be perfect. Dr. Petracek did say that 20% will need to be operated on again at some point and 10% of that 20 will be within the first week after surgery. I think that's what he said, the stats could be higher. I was a nerd trying to take notes but I think I failed here. We also pray for minimal amounts of pain and amazingly quick recovery!! 

Pray for me also as I know that I will need strength to let my husband go into the hands of these surgeons, to witness him in pain and a state of helplessness. I cry just thinking about it. Pray that I have only encouraging words to give him prior to the surgery as it will just be he and I back there together. His unwavering faith and strength and determination is truly amazing to see. He isn't looking forward to it but he's not looking back either. He's so much better than me. 

Well, Jayme's family comes in tomorrow and we did our best to enjoy this last evening together before things get a little crazy. We went to one of our favorite dinner spots. The Red Pony. It's beaucoup bucks so it's a real treat when we go but Jayme's been saving his per diem so we had a nice treat! I included a picture for your viewing pleasure :) 

Pre-op Tomorrow

Pray for us as we will spend most of the day tomorrow at Vanderbilt for Jayme's pre-op appointment. It is surreal as we get so close to doing the thing we have talked about for almost a year now. 

I have to take this moment to say how thankful I am for Christ. He is the only source of peace as we literally put Jayme's life in someone else's hands. Someone we've spent probably 30 minutes speaking with. To recognize that God is the Author and Finisher of our life releases peace and purpose. We move forward in prayer and completely trust our lives to the One who created them. How does anyone live without Jesus? 

I still have questions, I still wonder if I could be doing something more or something different, if I could make God happier by doing better...but then I'm reminded of His love for us. He is not waving His finger at me in displeasure waiting until I "get it right". He is holding my heart, changing it, and drawing me closer to lay my head on His breast as He wraps us up in His peace and purpose. How extremely lovely! 

Keeping Busy

I have to say at this point each day just gets busier as we get closer to the surgery. This morning I did lay in bed trying not to wake up because I didn't know where to begin today, there was so much to do. 

But everyday God shows His grace and strength. It's awesome. Jayme is feeling a lot better today. He still has some soreness and still had restrictions in order to recover from the heart cath so he couldn't lift Evangeline or over-exert himself in any way. That means it was up to me to finish cleaning the carpets. ;) We're trying to get a lot of "spring cleaning" done before the surgery so we don't have to worry about any of it later. 

I'm just amazed at how fast this week is going already. Each day is packed full of things to do and before we know it, it will be Thursday. I admit, the closer it gets the more and more apprehensive I am getting. I'm not worried and I'm excited for it to be behind us, but my Type-A personality just begins to come out and I want to know exactly what it will be like and exactly what to expect so I can prepare. I am not naive, both Jayme and I know that there will be difficult and maybe unpleasant moments but we have the highest expectations for God's peace and healing abilities. I'm so thankful to be able to rest in Him. 

1 Appointment Down, 1 To Go

Well we got ourselves to the hospital this morning at 5:50 a.m. Yep, we were even a little early. Of course they didn't even take us back until 6:45 :) We went through the standard prep work and at about 7:45 a.m. they wheeled Jayme back for the catheterization. 

Dr. Richardson came to find me at about 8:45 to let me know that everything went very well. No blockages or any other cause for concern was detected. The nurse walked me back to see him about 15 minutes later and informed me that Jayme kept them very entertained the whole time ;) They had Jayme on bed rest for the next 3 hours so they could make sure that the artery was closing and healing well. 

It was all I could do to not fall asleep in those 3 hours. We left the hospital at 1:15 p.m. Overall it was a smooth procedure and it always helps to have a great bunch of nurses and techs to work with, and we did! 

Jayme's resting now and does have a fair bit of aches and pains which we're hoping will subside by tomorrow. 

Now we are free of appointments until the pre-op appt. on Tuesday. And now I'm going to make a list of everything that needs ot be done by next Thursday. Wish me luck! 

Heart Cath. Appt Tomorrow

Tomorrow at 6:00 a.m is Jayme's appointment for his heart catheterization. Yes I said we have to be there at 6:00 a.m. Ugghh. I am actually a morning person, but mornings begin for me at maybe 7:00. 6 a.m. is still night in my book, and for Jayme, 6 a.m. is like the average person's midnight. Yes, we like to sleep in this house :) 

So this is the first of future procedures. The procedure itself will take approximately 1 hour and from there they determine how much rest he needs before we can head home. However, if they do discover any blockages they would possibly have to insert a stint or do an angioplasty. We are not anticipating either. Aside from all of this, Jayme is a healthy person and only 33 years old so we are really hoping for no blockages! Please pray that there aren't any, that he takes to the anesthesia well,  and that it is a quick and easy appointment. :) 

I'll let you know tomorrow how it goes. 

Psalm 40 Excerpts

"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. 

Many will see what He has done and be astounded. They will put their trust in the Lord. Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord, who have no confidence in the proud, or in those who worship idols. O Lord, my God, you have done many miracles for us. Your plans for us are too numerous to list. If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds, I would never come to the end of them. 

As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord thinking about me right now. You are my helper and my savior. Do not delay, O my God." - Psalm 40:1-5, 17

--I would not trade these trials for anything. I would not wish to be in any other place in life right now. The love we have been shown by God and by His beautiful, wonderful people is so fulfilling and so humbling. The prayers we have received and the prayers we have given in this time have renewed us, strengthened us, broken us, and changed us. His love is unfailing and He is so full of this love, it IS Him. 

There is no glory without trials and I think we are finally learning to embrace them and learning to allow the Lord to work in and through them instead of trying to figure out the whos, wheres, and most of all, the whys. We move forward in his love, knowing that we are loved and treasured, and out of that I've learned to trust.